The most unfortunate thing that can happen to someone in a steady, committed relationship is betrayal. For ones who may have experienced this feeling personally, the feeling might not even be describable, let alone doing something about it. The reason behind this could lie in the unexpected truth that surrounds a person on being faced with it. The knowledge that your loved one was not being truthful to you, this feeling brings with it a lot of insecurity, sadness and the realization that things were not what you thought they were.
In the midst of all the overwhelmed feelings, it might not be possible for one to think rationally, from the other person’s point of view. The question concerning whether you can still put your trust in someone who supposedly did not even think twice, before betraying you. While contemplating on these ideas, one tosses and turns in misery, suffers sleeplessness, tearful, lonely days & nights. This probably happens because the person who cheated was too dear to be lost, forgotten, but was the source of a lot of pain. Would it be possible that person be forgiven? What are chances that what happened once will not, again?
Writer Paulo Coelho feels it might not. In a famous quote he states what he feels about something that happens once cannot happen again, whereas something that happens twice might always happen a third time. So, one should consider his or her personal case first. Has it been happening often that acts of betrayal have come up to the fore? Or was it a one-time occurrence, done due to a slip of judgment? This should, for starters, help anyone facing this sort of trauma do some thinking about the situation. Also, one can think about whether the relationship is worth saving and being worked out again.
If one does decide on wanting to work things out and mend a relationship after cheating, it will mostly be a tough journey ahead. In case of both the people involved, there are a lot of uncertainties, doubts, overwhelmed emotions and above all, a huge effort that needs to be made in the direction of sorting issues out.
One can begin with talking. It might be the most difficult thing to do, but it is the most appropriate too. Also, try to understand each other’s point of view, and try figuring a middle path that may help ease doubts & insecurities and help the two people know each other better, after something like a confrontation takes place. But one should always remember, to lose one’s dignity should never be an option. Whichever path one chooses to follow, one’s self-respect should always remain in place, as, the lack of the same slowly but gradually withdraws all kinds of emotions from within. With differing situations everywhere, it is not possible to come up with a clear cut solution, but these points can always help think better.